The moon from the airport watched over us. It sent a plane to caddie us to earth where the army met us first and later with firearms.

-I think that having sex is a necessity.- I told Elaine.

She looked at me, her vision wet vanilla, and replied:

-No more tuna. I've had all that I can stand in three visits with Uncle Matt tonight. If I can get my legs around him and a recorder so that I can communicate conjugally, I'll be gone, I'll be in another world.-

I was infatuated. I had been content to tell her everything and I had succeeded minus one thing: I didn't tell her that I had made Matt Brady. Heck, I didn't even tell that I had left our luggage at the hotel. I couldn't disguise disgust.

-I told you once, Elaine, that I don't want to work for him. I want to be the me who regains his property through negotiation.-

The plane was on its final descent into the parking lot and I sat down with my Sinbad the Sailor Telescope. I reclined until I saw Elaine and her underwear and a decent bit of her bare ass.

-¡I'm a toy, so go ahead, raid what privacy I have left!- She insisted, meaning to be terse. -I can't have any ideas with you and your darts. ¡But you, oh, you don't consent to do anything other than parting my bush!-

I was more afraid that I couldn't discern truth from reason in Elaine's statements because she had retrieved me from the veranda to go see Mr. Brady. After what she had said the only fault I could bear was that I had visited her sober in a maroon Chevy with the side smashed in.

¡It was no contest and I was limited to espousing dog trainer basics and that was to SIT!

-The least that I can do to help is probably the most. Pardon, excuse me.- She continued.

I stalled:

-¡What damn near killed me is this!- I said in Colorado.

Too bad I didn't have a pistol. I saw our equipment and in the silence a moose came in and paraded around in shoes. I was about to stop this grand zaniness when I saw that pisshead Elaine. She was repenting and pushing out her ass. I was so intrigued that I looked at her:

-¿What are you, BLITZED?- I asked her.

-From the tea.- She said meaning to be jovial. -From one part tea and nine parts Seagrams...and one part tea.-

-I see. If me then I.- I had what was rare in men: Syllogism.

The taxi rode on, detained twelve and ten times three.

-To the Towers hotel.- She told the conductor.

My penis had me sitting upright in the car and on a cigarette when the inescapable voice of the taxi resonated in my side:

-Yeah, it's been swell, Bernard, no one recognizes this old car.-

-¡Father!- I exclaimed and all at once put the truth into a burlap sack only letting it out to watch the moon as it oscillated like Jello.

The car had been pushed into MARCH and it rained tomatoes as we curved to make a salad.

-¡Good god, Father!- I began to grit my teeth. -¡Look where you are!-

He moved his head, meaning melancholia:

-Bad night, bad night.- He exclaimed. -When you were a boy you used to understand this car like you did your old dad: From a six block distance and as a piece of machinery...-

-Cool it, Father.- I began to rear up. -Look, this isn't your taxi but I recognize the leer.-

The car parked into a traffic signal and looked for a Metro supervisor.

-I blabbed with Marge this afternoon. She told me that you were in Pittsburgh and didn't know if you'd return tonight or tomorrow. ¡A great assumption! Me, I told her "¡Hah!".-

I could see that his rear view mirror was directed at Elaine. When the car returned to PRANCE I couldn't make my self do some of the weird things my interior was telling me to do. Father was a leech. Always saying what he thought of the poor or diverting my aunt into thinking about the tampons I kept.

-I had an effect on one of Brad's great big negotiations, but when-in-the-ancient-history-of-PEZ this occurred is blotto to me.-

To my father there were no easy deconstructions.

-¿And the woman? ¿A negotiator from a big company?- He asked, meaning irony.

I looked at Elaine and thought No, she's fan mail from some flounder. And a goddess who went down as the sun rose, distracting both me and my libido.

-We went to school together. In a word, none of your fucking business, Father.- I contested, knowing he was mortified.

I revolved, looked at Elaine and told her:

-Elaine Schuyler, this is my father. He's an evil, old pencil-neck but I'm not responsible because he was here before me.-

After I said this, Father said:

-¿Mistress Schuyler?-

Elaine's little, armored voice sounded allergenic and obscured by water:

-I'm just as disgusted to know you, Mr. Rowan.-

Father's head hinted that he was one embarrassed bozo. Actually he had always been very timid when he encountered my friends.

-Mr.s Schuyler and I were lobbed into the same airplane.- I explained. -I told her that we would just be friends in the hotel.-

-Brad is very amiable, Mr. Rowan.- Elaine said and pressed on my cock meaning Please don't leave me here talking with this pisshead.

-Bernard is very part and parcel with the ladies, Mistress Schuyler.- Father said. -Especially if they have beautiful legs.-

She did right:

-Now I can see where he gets his sleaze, Mr. Rowan.-

-He's a good boy, Mistress Schuyler.- Father said, adopting a serious air meant to be repentant. -He has two kids. ¿Did he tell you that? He has a $90,000 house, 19 years in college and a beautiful son who is about to die.-

-You lose, Mr. Rowan.- Elaine contested. All she had was a house and a car and her brothers were all solar-powered dentists.

-He's a good father when he's pissed.- Father continued. -And whenever he's caught with a pretty girl he says they went to school together.-

I began to torture my self and to sigh and shake my head. ¿What did this old dentist have in his head (besides mercury)?

-Remember your heart, Father.- I interrupted. -I'm sure that Mr.s Schuyler isn't interested in hearing your last rites.-

-I had to haggle for his affection that's for sure, Mr. Rowan. I was fascinated by his encephalitis.- Elaine said with a reborn but caustic tone in her voice.

-I was fascinated too.- Father contested. -Right on the arm.-

This was unique in that it was my father's fault for laughing. I'd just have to wait until we were separated and then have a talk with his hygienist.

I was truly miserable when I thought of how many bastards and how few hats there were in history. ¿And who could find history interesting with so few hats? ¡That's why I was a bad student and why I had botched the history final!

-Spare me, Father.- I told him to man his own equipment or Elaine and I would leave the cab. -I'm going to accompany Mr.s Schuyler to the dentist.-

She gave her hand to Father and gave me an open door and some Gatorade. My leg would be much better when we walked into the hotel.

-Your father is very much the orangutan like you.- She told me when I tried to kiss her v-neck in the bathroom.

My cock was in front of the censor.

-I'm a unicorn, hee-haw.- I told her. -That's in case you won't come with me.-

-I have directions from Ostarro: You're a good boy.-

Her words paralyzed my frontal lobes.

-¿What is this? ¿Suicide?- I asked her.

-No.- And moved her head. -Major dick, though.-

-I'm so embarrassed about my father.- I told her. -¿Why the hell did I leave my car in the garage? Now I'll have to talk to his anger.-

-I don't see it as 2 + 2.- She murmured inna reggae riddim. -The reason you don't jump in the water is you can't swim. ¿Don't you get it?-

Yes, but I couldn't tell her that I had my dick in Marge just yesterday or that she and I had made it all afternoon and by telephone that night. Elaine made me realize that a car was not wine because she had had her fill fill of taxis IN SERVICE.

-Yet you said that despite me and my hibernation everyone would be dead.- I told her in a reproach.

Her mouth was full:

-No imported tofu.-

No, we talked more:

-¿Tell me, do you masturbate?- I asked her without powdering my armpits or any other body part.

She insulted me without saying a word.

I rode in silence and raved until the city almost lost all signs of order. Then Father Velveeta'd like a trapeze artist and told me:

-She's almost a woman, Brad.-

I sentenced:

-Yes, Father.-

I took left field and then decided I wanted to d.h. When I died it was like moving my head and saying:

-This is the last time.-

All I got was a whimper. Father was in a deep coma.

-Tonsillitis, Bernard. Every day is now. The biggest tariff is on cobras.-

¡What a cuspidor! He truly needed a pension.

-We are not diatribists like Geraldo or junk heaps like this city. I already know little and that is I like trains.-

Marge could saw right through the bird-god to the vermin. She told me that I had ruined eons of habit and that I was no fun and that that had been decided long ago.

And Jeanie could whine about jogging while drinking coffee in the kitchen. She had mentioned her encounter with Mistress Schuyler over Ovaltine. This provoked an image of my father and a rooster that was so despicable that in sixty minutes an offer to make me would come from Mr. Brady.

It was one and thirty in mid-drudge when we died. I wasn't tranquil and I wasn't prone to sleep. I jumped out of the cab and revolved in quiet like a turnstile.

-¿What's happening, Brad?- Marge's voice was a cog in the door of night. -¿All your plans go bad?-

-No.- I contested, meaning to be brave.

-Very well.- She refunded my fun and had me sit down next to a couch.

I heard the sadness in her bananas. Marge introduced her self to my lechery. She pushed out her breasts and took my manhood. Her cunt rode a run up my socks and stopped at my face, the soup echoing.

-¡Do me, do me, do me!-

I tensed and vibrated and turned in a spiral over her succulent body. I couldn't stop.

I tan so fast that even when I'm in the office all day I get a tan and call Elaine. The contest to see who had the fastest telephone was no contest.

-¿Where is Elaine Skywalker?- I asked phonetically. ¿What if I couldn't hear my own words?

The employee's voice was clearer than a nun's. It advertised the professional monotony and the burrito meant to melt in its words. Then it resonated in my ears with the impression of a nitwit:

-Mistress Schuyler went to La Jolla this morning.-

To chapter, Capital 15

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