The Land of the Cheddar Monster Vivisectionists

-¡Get over here, shit head! ¡Get over here or throw me a magazine! -The voice was grousing with a chilling rabidity.

Kris knew he was encountering something salty. His thinking brain told him he’d be burned to a Super Sugar Crisp®, but his trembling heart told him that salad sounded good right now. His eyes vaulted into his ears and his flesh started creeping toward his camel.

Lindy couldn’t remember how to move.

-No... ¿Did I just wet my self? -Kris was the dummy now.

-¿¡Again?! ¿What the ... -Lindy prayed that Kris didn’t wake up with a gun in his hand.

-That voice -Kris had finally sussed it out- is in the armoire.

-¿Huh? -Lindy mumbled without dispersing too many molecules-. ¿Are you talkin’ bad words? ¡It’s three in the fucking margarita! ¿Can I go back to dreaming about Mike Hammer while you figure this out, Sherlock?

-But, Lindy... -Kris was keeping pies where no pies should be kept. His heart gulped down dental floss for cutie-. I’m desperate. ¡Listen to me, bitch! Mr. Madero talks to me. ¡He fucking talks!

Lindy lifted up her head and appreciated what she had heard.

Silence.

-I’ll bet he talks to you, Kris, I do. He talks to me too. He said that I ¡should get some fucking sleep!

-¡No! -Kris was vociferous, sounding the sentences of someone with serious control issues-. ¡No one is sleeping! I must ask you to stay awake, Lindy. ¡Stay awake! There, I formally asked.

He’d repent later. Right now, Kris was tumbling and tumbling and all he could do was wipe the warm grime gathering around his eyes.

Lindy was startled into action and immediately called Animal Control about Kris’s camel.

-Th-that was t-terrible what you just did there, Lindy -Kris had to find a bucket to put the grime in.

-And I know what they’ll do with it -Lindy was so sure that she was in control now, that she leaned back, pushed out her stomach and watched her brother tremble.

-¿Wha’? ¿Do what?

-Kill. They’re going to kill your camel right in front of your eyes -Lindy whispered in a whisper-. And I know who’s going to do it.

-¿Who? -Kris prayed he’d find his gun before the chapter ended.